Gypsy Heart

You turn into an alley and see the hooded man standing against a drainpipe. He gives you a crumpled, torn piece of paper with a barely legible list on it. You point at what looks like the word "Mocha". He takes the paper back and holds out a large, aged hand, wrinkled on the back like an elephant's trunk, but when he opens it and you put the money in, you feel the leathery softness of his palm and fingers, burnished by years of working his detailed craft. Whenever you peer into his hood all you can make out is the tip of a large nose and a dark red and black reflection of the corner of an eye. He snaps up the money and the hand comes back out of the cloak with a small dark lump that he drops into your palm. You look at it and when you look up he is gone. You leave the alley and as you walk you smell the intense chocolate aroma from the morsel in your hand. You find a bench, sit down and bite into your treasure. All at once, the penetrating fragrance of the liquors and the ethereal dark flavor of the chocolate go straight through your palate to the space just behind your eyes and blast open your consciousness. Your muscles spasm delightfully as you are lifted on beams of light, drenched in waves of peace and warmth and the moment becomes eternal. Well…..that's what I shoot for anyway.

Life is bittersweet. More bitter than sweet.
Gypsy Heart Truffles are for those who embrace the entirety of their lives;
who savor all of the tearful moments life has to offer;
joyous, painful, profound and silly.

The Crumpled List

Gypsy Heart: French liquor soaked sour cherries nestled in a dark ganache flavored with Williams Pear Brandy and Cognac.

Mocha: Coffee extract and Kahlua in a milk and dark chocolate ganache

Orange: Grand Marnier and orange zest in dark chocolate ganache

Mint: Peppermint, peppermint, dark chocolate ganache…oh, and more peppermint

Hazelnut: Hazelnuts and Frangelico in milk and dark ganache

Raspberry: Raspberry puree and Chambord in milk and dark ganache

Sambuca: Sambuca liquor and an espresso bean in a dark ganache


16 Piece Assortment Box $30
16 Piece box all Gypsy Hearts $40
A la Carte $2.50 ea./ Gypsy Hearts $3.00 ea

I use only Valrhona Chocolate in all my chocolates.
Valrhona Chocolate is listed as Slave Labor Free, as we all can be.


I also make Bark
(No, not like a dog except for very special people)

Pecans and candied Ginger in Milk Chocolate
Cashews, Craisins, Raisins, and Dried Cherries in Milk Chocolate

$8 per Quarter Pound
$15 per Half Pound

Chocolates should be kept refrigerated but served at room temperature. That said, cocoa fat is the most stable fat there is and if you leave them out for a few days they'll probably be just fine, so don't get your undies in a bunch over it.

Please support your local eccentric misanthropic curmudgeon

Write to:

Some Assurances
(Yeah right!)

Dear Truffle-muncher,
This is a very personal business and really, an experiment in alternative living. My name is Ralphie and I am the Top Curmudgeon of Milliways, Inc., a multifaceted artistic endeavor. I have been a chef off and on for most of my life. I sincerely love to make delicious foods and believe that, if done with the right mix of joy and attention, they will nourish more than just our cells. Please be assured that I will probably not have all items on hand at any given time. I make chocolates in small batches with as much personal love and attention as possible so this means that industrializing for the sake of demand is simply out of the question. If I got, you get; if not, try later or ask me to let you know. I also assure you that once in a huge while I will make a mistake and something will be amiss. In such a case, I will do my best to right it. These truffles are for the few. For those who have examined life and found it beautiful, frightening, mysterious, strange and really, really funny, and anybody else that wants to buy them.

  1. If I cannot laugh at myself, I can be assured that someone, somewhere will do it for me.
  2. If I (or my lofty position) cannot face a bit of public humiliation, then I can be assured that the public will wait until the door is closed behind me.
  3. If at any time I cannot find something to be grateful for, I will rest assured the fault lies in myself.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you!